Responsibility

Responsibility...OMG...man.....Its a tough job......Taking that one step ahead is a pain...And being responsible, it begins at home... And my home....oops....It’s my DAD....I just can’t take him..lol!! He been behind me since the starting of under-graduation..maybe even before that..My memories are bit short. Sorry about that!! There have been many incidents and lots and lots of advices relating to that... And I have great memories of those...Expensive ones... 

 

One of them....It was the start of under-graduation and Tata Indica was the first of my dad's car that I drove around... I would turn up late night and leave the car windows ajar...A bad habit....My dad would be patient in letting me know that it’s wrong. I eventually paid the price. The music player went missing. Still, he was patient asking me to be a bit more careful and responsible. He never said a no to take the car out even after that incident. did i become responsible?? Na....not so soon....But, he used to talk with me a lot...very patiently....Those talks on the  terrace, sharing old memories, his own life, the lives of other people ( relatives and friends), what's the price you might need to pay being irresponsible..Still lingers in my mind. But responsibilities never came free of cost to me. It came with a price tag.

Next one!! A drunk guy in the middle an intersection. Tata Indica (poor old car...I don’t know how many hits it took..And FYI, My dad was an expensive driver too..its blood related disease I guess). BOOM. He went flying in the middle of the road. One day ICU (not me!!). Cops. Managed things somewhat without any complaints. Dad's help. Did I slow down after that? na..

NEXT. Under-graduation final year...Honda City. My dad's next car. Intersection. Two guys in a bike. Very furious. Crash. Went flying, fast. Cops. Dad. No complaints. Thank God. But these were things that happened on roads.

At home, those times were the toughest times. Not for me. For my dad and mom. She was scared to death. Dad had to put his head down in front of the cops. For me. It made me think. A little. At least for a week. Not more than that. Still he never said "u r not driving anymore, naren” or something stupid like that. He knew that few things cannot be taught. Time and experience are the best ways to learn. He gave me that time. These car incidents were not the only things. Many more. Every day I might miss something important. An important phone call. A reminder. Keep the keys inside the house and lock the door from outside. Being messy. Leaving my bed undone. Many more. But answers to these have been only talks with my parents. 

Did I learn? Not much. But, I was not bad or irresponsible. I was missing something. Time was running and mid of 2008 was upon me. Was getting ready for my first masters and my last(mind it!!), which meant no more talks. No more terrace discussions with mom and dad. So what does that mean??? It made think for the first time. But guess what...Time was not on my side. My flight took off...Very fast...My first flight... I was excited. After landing it was just me. All alone. 

Every step was mine and every word was my very own. I learnt something immediately. It was not about being organized in life or keeping things at place.Because nothing goes according to plan (anyway I don't plan much either!!). It was all about keeping to the words I spoke and not blaming others for my decisions. I guess this is what I learnt from my dad during all the talks. "You are responsible for your own decisions and mistakes". I had learnt the need of patience during those discussions a necessity for decision making. Those talks taught me so many things.     

But looking back, did everyone learn what responsibility is after so much damage and pain that my parents went through??? (FYI, my dad could have got another brand new car with the money he paid on the crashes and my mom had many sleepless nights). Also, does ever one need to be away from parents or do masters or something else?? But that has been my scenario so far. I sense it might be termed as "Turning Point". Ever one will have a turning point. A job, marriage, commitment to someone special, etc etc...So many reasons... Mine could be my masters. 

But getting to that point, where taking the blame on myself for my decisions was made easy by my Dad and Mom. It was all because of those talks and the ideas that were shared on that terrace. The freedom that was offered by my dad was extraordinary in some aspects.

Still one unanswered question. Does everyone learn it this way?? I am not sure. I guess not. Or was it his mistake to let me learn thing in this way. I gave it a thought. I was all confused. I talked with him two days back. I asked him the question. He said "you will learn it in near future!!!”

Eventually, I got to know that I am responsible for my decision's and its consequences. I need to stand by my decision and work hard for it. There might be rewards and penalties. At the end of the day, I will be happy to receive it with open arms. Its my life and I got to mend it. There is happiness in it for me!!!

Moving on to the next.......There not much of my dad or mom in it...Thank God!!! But, I need to stop right now. It’s late and dark. Wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Naren.