Reality

Reality - Am I the only one running away from it??? I don't have an answer.  

It's not the time to be awake but sleep seems to be eluding me for some reasons. Lot of thoughts cramped up having no way to flow out. So trying to see if some scribbling can help me out!!!.

A recent phone call from one of my friend made me think about few things that I try so hard to forget or even to remember. I need to say that he is not just a friend, but my best friend who is capable of making me smile, cry or even think. He asked me the question, indirectly.

Reality - A thing that exist. Not an illusion or fear. It cannot be erased. Reality can be happiness or sadness. If happiness, I guess its not a problem. It can be dealt easily. But, how about sadness????

I have tried hard to forget as reality disturbs my day to day activities. I sometimes even try harder not to accept the reality. But it is what it is. I also know that I am not being held responsible for everything that happen to people around me. But it’s not that simple to keep it aside when that person holds a special place in my heart. It Hurts. As tears roll, I am so SORRY that I am not around when needed the most. SORRY. Not able to do anything other than being sorry, seems to be like running away from the hard truth. I don't have an answer to the person. I don't have an option either. As of now.

Moving on, Accepting reality could be the best way to deal with it.  Easier said than done. Other than accepting it, there is no other way. Mistakes made are decisions that went wrong. It cannot be regretted. Even if regretted, cannot be altered. 

The best possible solution could be to remember the decisions that were made earlier and not the faults that followed. I am even trying to remember the decisions that were not made by me, still affecting me. Since life is all about learning, these hard realities are lessons for me to remember. So that at least when the time comes, I could see to that the person whom I hold close doesn't suffer from the decision's that I make.

Few decisions are made to go wrong. But taking the same stupid decisions is not the way to live. That's what reality teaches.

Not sure of where I started and where I ended....But I am still trying hard to accept the reality as it unfolds right in front of me as the days pass by.

Naren.